Pre Race Message
Cat Berge
I sit down to write a letter to an old lady, Gunvor Sjöberg, in Northern Sweden. Her daughter Maria died in cancer at age 38. I met Maria when she was 34. She came to our little home fellowship and told us about her fight against breast cancer. It had been diagnosed when it had spread to teh bones and caused her back pain. Something inside me just made me reach out to her.. and say 'Maria - I want to be your support and prayer warrior, we will fight this. This started a long friendship. I moved to the US the year after and our connections were every day email and many times phone. We fought together. She wanted to live so bad. I always supported her hopes and stood by her in her struggles. I organized prayer and fasting chains.
When I started biking, I dedicated my races to her. When I was suffering badly in my first ultrarace, Furnace Creek 508 in 2001, I thought about Maria and prayed for her. When I could not breath for 3 hours due to severe asthma, I prayed for Maria. I also prayed for Michelle, a woman in final stages of cancer. She had a friend drive to the start to give me an angel pin that I wore during the race. I told myself, that Maria or Michelle could not stop fighting or quitting, so neither could I quit the race. During the race Michelle was hospitalized, but when she heard of my victory she laughed and
As years went by, the cancer spread in Maria's body and there were metastasis in liver and bones. One day, they could not give more chemotherapy, because her immune system could not support it. In the spring of 2002, Maria passed away.
I was in shock and denial for more than half a year. I kept asking God why???? Why did he not save her, we needed her here on earth. In the autumn of 2002 when another major crisis hit, I started mourning. Depressed and mourning, I cried myself to bed every night. God melted down a lot of pain in myself during that period. I embraced the pain... and awaited the sun, not resorting to any medication or happiness pills (valleys are part of life, as much as the peaks)
I started the Maria circle. A group of prayer and support team for those sick and hurting. The list has grown and evolved. Whenever I hear of a friend in need, I activate the prayer chain. Even if prayers are not always answered (for reasons that God will show us once we get to heaven)... the fact that there are people thinking, praying, supporting and cheering on the person struggling can make their life easier to live day by day. I realized my mission was to be there. To be there with care, compassion and love. To make every day worth living even for people that are fighting deadly disease.
Tapering... some people say it is hard to cut back in riding. Not for me. I was getting tired of training. Having done about 9600 miles to date this year... I don't feel like training any more. I want to get started. Also I gradually 'revved up' my training from having been injured end of last year and the last month was my heavy training month... and my body confirmed that and now I need to rest before the race.. So I sleep and rest alot and put some fat back on my body.
It is scary beeing a rookie. But I have great support. Lee Mitchell just has all the crew details under control so that I don't even have to think about those details... and he has a way of making me beleive I can do it. Steve Born is there whenever I need him, coaching, mentoring, instructing me about the right way to train, to rest, to taper etc. Friends, supporters, known and unknown. This is not my race... this is our race. I am just doing
There are boxes everywhere in my appartment. How am I going to get some order in all things. Bottles, crew clothing, bike clothing, glasses, tons of saddles, butt boxes, medicine boxes, CD stacks, cats... last minute work jobs... papers to send off to publication. I usually manage... and somehow the more I have to do, the more time I spend emailing or chatting with friends.